Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
