i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
