I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
