so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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