this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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