check it out our google latitudes are spooning
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
