Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
