Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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