He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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