The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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