I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
