Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
