Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
