ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
