The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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