How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the condom got lost in my hair
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
