if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
