Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
tequila makes me forget i have legs
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
