Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
