My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
