Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
