Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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