i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
