Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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