I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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