She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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