oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
