haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
