Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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