some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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