dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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