Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
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