I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
its liver damage thursday
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
