found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
