What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
