So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
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