Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
