there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
