At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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