a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
