Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
