there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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