I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
