She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
whose parrot is this?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
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