i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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