I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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