whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
