Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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