she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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