Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Did you just see the Batmobile???
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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