I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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