that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
