I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
