Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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