btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
