the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
