yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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